my hubsterman is not home tonight coz he's got one of his many events going on. i decided to treat myself to a nice dinner comprising of leftovers, my 'dog rice' and a nice watercress soup. you see, my hubsterman hates watercress soup and i love it so i normally don't make it when he's home for dinner. as for the dog rice, it's when i cook corn beef with diced onions til they are almost crisp, add it to my rice and mix everything up.
my dad called up just after i put the rice to cook and asked if i wanted any food as he is going out to buy his dinner since my mom had gone out with her friends for dinner. i said, 'no thanks' and continued doing my work on my mac.
half and hour later i hear the doorbell. i started rushing to my wallet for some cash, thinking, "oh shit! it's the newspaper man, i haven't gone to the atm to take out any cash. i got no money!!" then i remembered that the newspaper man came for his collection last week.
it was my dad at the door and he brought his rice over to have a chit-chat with me while we have dinner. in other words, he wanted a date. lovely. my two best friends in the world are my husband and my dad.
i set up the table, dished up the soup, got a big bowl for my dad's packed dinner and prepared my dog rice and nuked the leftovers. we sat down to eat.
me: where's mummy?
dad: she's gone out for dinner with so-and-so
me: oh, yes ah? when did she leave?
dad: at six something. she went over to see your auntie cat. she broke her ankle
me: huh? broke her ankle? how? when?
dad: a few days back. dunno how she broke it. she's got a few screws in her leg now
me: aiyoh! that's terrible wei
dad: yup. your mother terrible. i asked her before i had my lunch if she wanted to visit her sister. she just kept quiet. then when i'm in the middle of my lunch, she hurried me to finish so that i can send her to her sister's place. when i finished my lunch and got ready, she herself still not ready to leave, dilly dallying over dunno what
me: aiyah, she's always like that one. i'm just glad she went to visit auntie cat. she treated mummy the best even though they had different mothers. the rest of her siblings from the same mother useless one
dad: yeah, she does treat your mom the best
me: yeah lah, uncle micheal is an asshole, uncle ronald is a cunning fox, auntie nic is just plain psycho
dad: well......
me: yeah what! uncle michael is an asshole. he threatened me when i was young. what kind of person threatens his ten year old niece?? moreover, he's a useless asshole. always asking for money and never returning anything he 'borrowed'
dad: yeah, me and uncle chin are always afraid of lending him anything
me: do you know that he's psycho as well?
dad: why do you say that?
me: do you remember the time when he was crazy over hinduism?
dad: yeah, i think that was the time when he mixed around with uncle walter a lot. uncle walter was always superstitious and stuff
me: no! no! i don't mean superstitious. he was psycho! i mean, i'm grateful for introducing me to those comics about hinduism. it's taught me about the hindu religion and it's deities and Gods. it's brodened my outlook on other religions. it's just that during that time, he made me and his daughter look directly into the sun and said that after a while we'll see a black dot. and that's some kind of enlightenment. who in the world tells small kids to look into the sun? eyes gone lah!
dad: not just small kids. any person of any age would spoil their eye looking into the sun
me: exactly! what the heck to i know?? i was like a few years old only. he's nuts lah. oh yeah, did you know that he's the one who taught me to flip the birdie?
dad: ha! ha! ha! really??
me: yeah, i mean what kind of uncle teaches a eight year old to show the middle finger? he didn't really tell me what it means. just that sticking out the middle finger to someone means telling a person, "you bad"
dad: HA! HA! HA!
me: no, don't laugh. did you know that i showed it to this dude while we were in auntie nic's car? auntie nic was taking me, alice and roy somewhere, and all three of us were in the backseat. and when we were at the rothman's roundabout, auntie nic probably cut into someone else's lane, you know how terrible a driver she is
dad *holding back laughter*: is that when you showed him the birdie?
me: no, no, not yet. well auntie nic probably cut into his lane and maybe he had to make another round on the roundabout and that's when he honked. how the hell do i know? i was just a kid. i thought he was just being mean, honking at us. then i faced out the back window and sneakily faced him, gave him the evil eye and stuck out my middle finger
dad: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
me: that fella was so shocked and angry, he barged his way to drive alongside us and gave us the middle finger. auntie nic was so confused and wondering why is the asshole in the next car giving her the finger. HA! HA! HA!
yakety yak of Anonymous at 00:00
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